Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Discombobulated

Background info: my current employer is in bankruptcy protection, and selling off different divisions one at a time, including my area, which was sold at auction and is currently being transferred to the new owner. This week we've seen layoffs for some, and job offers extended to others.

I am only now realizing how discombobulated I've been feeling over the last few weeks. Luckily it's all job related ;) We've known for a while that 15% layoffs were coming early in the year. I don't even think my crappy frame of mind had anything to do with being worried for my job (at this point I am mostly feeling fatalistic about the whole thing, and I'd like to think I would have been mostly ok no matter the outcome); I think it's the whole atmosphere at work getting to me. Things have been quiet, hushed, everyone huddling down and trying to get their own work done lest they appear as not being busy enough (and hence somewhat disposable). It made for a very grim workplace, a far cry from the usually friendly and mostly cooperative environment I am used to...

The fly in the ointment here is that I've finally snagged the team lead position I had been promised eons ago (as in, before I even got pregnant), so I should be ramping up my leadership role. I thought I was doing pretty well at first, but I am realizing that the last few weeks I've basically been doing the bare minimum on that front, basically just focusing on my individual goals, due to the aforementioned atmosphere...

The layoffs were announced yesterday, and job offers extended today. And yes, I am one of the lucky recipients of an offer letter. I am hoping I can somehow drag myself out of this fog and start focusing on the task at hand (leading the team) before I seriously start hating my job with a passion and become grumpy and bitter...

P.S. I am hoping that now that I've broken the long blog silence, I will get back to posting more regularly. I have tons of blog-thoughts rattling in my brain asking to be released...

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